The Trap, “Gossip”
The Trap
When I was in high school, I was blessed with an incredible group of Christian friends. For the most part, I would say this group of people never had huge issues, at least, not the typical high school “drama”. My friends were people who love God and actively work to pursue a relationship with him. These are girls I still would call close friends today, and people that I know beyond a shadow of doubt continued pursuing a relationship with the Lord to this day. Because of the type of friends I had in high school, I wasn’t fully prepared for the trap I would fall into once I got to college.
Being on a livestock judging team in college is a very unique experience. You will spend more time with the people on your team than you will with anyone else for two whole years. With that, you will also know more than you wanted to know about those same people, and they will know more about you than you wanted them to. It’s a space where it’s so easy to fall into the trap. The “trap” I’m talking about is gossip.
As a young adult, I truly believe that there is nothing more destructive to friendship building than gossip. I’ve seen firsthand how friendships can be destroyed by a simple he said, she said chain of gossip. It is an easy cycle to fall into, especially in college where not only do you meet a lot of non-Christians but also where a lot of Christians are trapped in the gossip cycle. Even as a Christian, it’s so easy to get caught in a conversation where your words snowball into more and more negativity.
You probably have heard the phrase that you are a combination of the 5 people you hang out with the most. It shouldn't surprise you that this is a fact you can find in the Bible.
“Walk with wise men, and thou shalt be wise, But the companion of fools shall suffer harm.”
Proverbs 13:20
I never realized how important it is to choose your friends wisely until I was in a situation where I could see the negative effects on my personality because of the people I chose to spend my time with. When I was hanging out with these people, I was less aware of the things that I said and did that could hurt the people that I cared about. Oftentimes, we don’t even realize how hurtful our actions could be until we have to live with the negative implications of what we did.
That is why it is so important to not only be mindful of where you spend your time but also who you spend your time with. Are you spending your time with people who think it’s ok to tear down other people with their words, or are you spending time with people who are intentionally mindful of what they say?
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
Ephesians 4:29
Gossip has become such a normal part of our lives that it’s hard to even recognize when we are doing it. Over the new year, I made a personal goal for myself to learn when to recognize when I might turn towards gossip and to work to break the habit. As Christians, I truly believe that the goal is never to hurt someone with the things we say, but more often than not, that ends up being what happens. I know I have hurt people more than once with my words, and while it was never my goal, I know that I never made an active effort to avoid gossip, and I hope that anyone I’ve hurt with my words will be able to forgive me for them.
Currently, I am working on building my relationships on the foundation of love and trust. I want to be more active about building up my friends and loved ones with my words, and really work to be someone who encourages.
It is so easy to get caught in the trap of gossip, even as a Christian. But, I want to encourage you to be mindful of the things you say. Not only watch what you say, watch what the people around you say. Do they work to build up their friends? Or are they also caught in the trap of gossip? The earlier you learn how to watch for and avoid gossip, the sooner you will be able to develop deeper relationships with the people around you.
