Respect and Love

In an earlier blog post, I wrote about the beauties of being a woman. I talked about our God-given attributes that have been crushed by the feminist movement. But, women aren’t the only ones who lose their purpose, gifts, and natural beauty because of the feminist movement. Men are also often time torn down and told that their masculinity is “toxic”. Because of this push to discourage men away from their gifts of problem-solving, courage, and leadership, we see a growing number of young men stepping away from these gifts so as to not “offend” women. Unfortunately, there are many unseen consequences to this push. One of these is the drop in God-fearing, leadership-driven men.

One of the books I’m reading in preparation for marriage is called For Women Only. This book is unique in that it explains the inner working of a man’s mind with relatable examples and stories. This book works to highlight the unique qualities of men and works to show women how these qualities can mesh perfectly with their own to develop a strong marriage. One of the first topics discussed is a man’s need for respect.

Now I know what you might think because I also used to think that, the idea of allowing a man to “tell you what to do” leaves a bad taste in your mouth. People see this idea as “old-fashioned” and believe that our world is far too advanced to allow a man to run it. It took me a long time to truly get to the heart of the matter and realize that my negative feeling towards “submission” to my future husband, was very much related to the type of men I was around much of my high school and young college years. You see, it took me a long time to realize this one simple idea, I (along with God’s guidance) was the one who got to choose the man I would one day be submitting to.

You may not realize the implication of this one small idea, so let me explain. If we look at the Bible, God is very clear about love.

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Now, let's look at what God tells to men in Ephesians.

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

Ephesians 5:25

The first time I ever saw those verses together, everything finally made sense. When a man truly loves us, he will be patient, kind, and considerate, and that means that his decisions will not only be all those things, but he will also always be looking out for his wife and family when making those decisions. And what’s even more comforting is that when we choose to marry a Godly man, because of Christ’s commandment to men to love their wives, submission is not meant to be demeaning, but rather a way of protection and love. Not only that but when we are submissive to our husbands, we are also fulfilling one of our man’s greatest needs which is respect. In fact, for men the word respect and love are interchangeable. Just check out God’s commandment to women in Ephesians.

“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

Ephesians 5:33

This was so interesting to me that it is not directly stated that wives must “love” their husbands, rather that we must “respect” them, but when we understand that to a man, love and respect mean the same thing, we can more clearly understand why this word was used. As a woman, I think it can be a lot harder to respect a man than it is to love a man. As a woman, love comes easy, but respect? The idea of respecting a man has become so twisted in our society that respecting a man is seen as degrading yourself. 

It’s no wonder so many men have such a hard time leading a home when so many women in American culture tell them that their natural desires, personality traits, and needs are wrong. As Godly women, we need to take the steps of affirming our men by fulfilling God’s commandment of respect and submission. Maybe then, we can help men realize that the lies of the world don’t define them, but rather it’s God who defines men, and that’s something women should be proud of.